6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
