Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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