Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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