He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
