forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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