Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize