In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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