threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
