News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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