so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
