So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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