id be glad to
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
