Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I would fuck him just for his dog
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize