I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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