Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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