So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
birth control should be required to get into college
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
