As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
