i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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