I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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