I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.