im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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