Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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