Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right