My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
