He asked to "fluff my boner.."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
