dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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