think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
