i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
