if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
