my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
