He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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