As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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