Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm always down for nudity.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
