Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
