I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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