i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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