her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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