8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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