the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
