Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
