His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize