Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
