This is not my ceiling
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dear god my vagina.
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