I wish I only lived at night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
