So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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