Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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