Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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