why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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