i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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