I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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