You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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