Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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