I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize