I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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