And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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