Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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