The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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