Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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