I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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