if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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