I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
