I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
