whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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